That old time religion

Apologies for the irregular posting at the moment, I should be back on track again now. A bit of a lighthearted post this time. I have recently moved again and have uncovered the notes for a post that I lost during my last move a few weeks ago.

A while ago Greta Christina had a competition on her atheist blog to come up with alternate verses for the song ‘Old Time Religion’. The idea was to come up with parodies of humanism, atheism or newly suggested humorous religions such as the Flying Spaghetti Monster or my personal favourite, Ceiling Cat. I missed the deadline for the competition but thought I’d share my efforts with you anyway. Looking back at the example verses I’m not sure mine are exactly canon but it was fun at the time.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster verses:

My eating habits are up-ended, pasta leaves me all offended, touched by his noodley appendage, but that’s good enough for me.

My eating habits are in limbo, now sacred pasta’s off the menu, like some Atkin’s Diet dimbo, but that’s good enough for me.

Let us bow down to spaghetti, flying wonder oh so saucy, noodly appendage there before me, and that’s good enough for me.

The Humanist verses:

Using reason and compassion, we can choose our path of action, guaranteed dissatisfaction, but that’s good enough for me.

Free from holy texts and schisms, I can make my own decisions, heart and head to guide my living, and it’s good enough for me.

Let’s embrace human compassion y’all, then on top let’s still be rational, the balance is quite impossible, but it’s good enough for me.

The Ceiling Cat verse:

Sing praises now to Ceiling Cat, who blesses all he gazes at, God of internet born crazes that, is good enough for me.

Feel free to put your own attempts in the comments. Humanist and Atheists can get quite serious sometimes so I fully support the idea of lampooning ourselves.

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2 Responses to “That old time religion”


  1. 1 Hugo October 21, 2008 at 7:42 pm

    I love the “guaranteed dissatisfaction” detail in your humanism lyrics. Lovely honest little detail. 😉

  2. 2 Clare October 21, 2008 at 8:02 pm

    Yeah, I’m not sure whether I’ll gain much popularity with the usual atheist/humanist crowds with that one but when faced with the impossible I’m happy to try my best.


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